Uhm actually, just help me.
I am adrift in a sea of my French babblings. I am to describe a picture for mes devoirs. My teacher has given me a diving board of great beginnings from which to show off how much French I've learned and to demonstrate my understanding of the works of art she's chosen:
Je me rends compte...
Je m'aperçois que...
Il se dégage une impression de...
La scène est captivante grâce à...
Jump! Jump! Jump! But I can't quite complete these sentences. I cannot say in French what I realize or perceive. I cannot say what sort of impressions the picture radiates nor why the scene is captivating. Not yet, not today. Peut-être demain, je suis optimiste.
Instead of jumping into the deep end of confusing French (le français confus? compliqué? embrouillant?) I call out
Oh, oui- the international distress signal is just us English speakers mispronouncing French (again!).
The mispronounced m'aider or m'aidez is used to call for help in life-threatening situations. In the US it's a federal crime to cry a wolfy mayday with punishments of up to six years imprisonment and a fine of $250,000. In French, pronounced correctly, it loses its sense of extreme urgency and is, as in English, a request for help.
With that in mind, I stick to French but with an independent American attitude:
je m'aide. I help myself. I go back to the shore of my basic knowledge. I wade in the comfort of simply attempting to say what is there and how it looks:
Il y a une sculpture, un homme...
Il est orange, très mystérieux...
Photo: Récif de la Grande Barrière d'Australie, en novembre 2004
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